you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
