i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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