Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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