i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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