I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
