Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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