My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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