I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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