at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
