If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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