Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize