just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
