If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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