I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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