sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
