he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A bitchslap is in order.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize