Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
