Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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