We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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