he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
