imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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