u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
