I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
