i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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