Sponge bath it is.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
