ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You dont lie about slip and slides
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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