You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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