are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
