I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
