the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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