Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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