oh god the rape fog is back!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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