we're blogging at a bar
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
