have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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