The maid of honor just puked.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
