I love black thongs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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