I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
