There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
