he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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