Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do vagina's smell?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
