Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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