A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Everything about him screamed your future.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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