I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Naked. naked and bneed help.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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