And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I am morally bankrupt
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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