taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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