hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
