we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
