If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
