her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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