She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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