White coat. Heels.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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