Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
