Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
