Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
