please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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