Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
