Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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